Driving on the lake is fun, until you get stuck in the snow.
#4.669201:
You know the irony gods are bored when you get pneumonia before you have surgery.
#2.817 940 92(38) x 10-15 m:
If you send an anit-nausea kit (read: drug paraphernalia) to a friend with cancer, she will open the package in front of her mother.
#3.846 x 1026 W:
Fresh corn on the cob does not stay fresh indefinitely.
#0.118:
When you find the girl of your dreams, she will wake you up and ask you to leave.
#299792458 m/s:
The GPS is a handy device that will confirm you are lost, misplaced or not where you intended; without the bother of having to pull over and look at a map.
#9.80665 m/s/s:
If a roll of toilet paper falls into the washing machine, you will not realize it until after it has been washed with your black t-shirts.
#1.4959787066 x 1011m:
Pride is like a county fair, but with a good parade.
#1.61803:
A skillet handle that doesn't get hot when used on the stove, will get incredibly hot after a few hours in a 350 degree oven.
#2.71828182845904523536028747135266249775724709369995:
Sometimes it is actually much worse than it seems.
#3.141592:
Did you really expect something profound when you started reading this?
#6.0221367 x 1023 mol-1:
If the only thing you like about your new job is the cool house you found to live in; you will have to move.